## The problem I can make simple daily decisions such as what to eat or what to wear, what movie to watch or what book to read... But when it comes to life decisions - I get stuck with [[Thought - Analysis Paralysis]]. Some questions that I feel stuck on: - What to study in university. - Where to study? - Should I study now or later? I'm already 24 and still have no first degree. - Should I continue in high-tech? If so, should I stay at my current workplace or find somewhere else? - Should I go back to the IDF? Lately I've gotten the feeling that [[My life is repeating itself]]. And I think this a direct consequence of the [[Thought - Bad life strategies]] that I have been using up until now. I relate to what [[Person - Denise Minger]] [said](https://youtu.be/qUUBIElKXBs?t=1285): "I felt trapped in my own mind. It's almost like you could feel the neural pathways have gotten so deeply grooved that it just felt like being at the bottom of the grand canyon and being like "How the fuck to I get back up to the top?" I know there's more to either side of this but I can't access it." This feels especially true with the way I evade making decisions and default to bad life strategies as a result. It's as if these neural pathways have been used so much that they have become my default way of handling difficult decisions. > By the way Mr., all this that you're doing - all this analysing and researching and organizing - is exactly Analysis Paralysis. > Yeah you think I didn't notice but I did... Moving swiftly on... ### Relying too much on intuition [16Personalities](https://www.16personalities.com/premium-profile/show-section?section=academic-path.work-or-college) classified me as a Mediator and said the following which caught by eye: "While powerful intuition is a gift, when used in an off-balanced way, it can counter reasonable arguments and lead to poor decisions." I think I have indeed been assigning too much weight to my "gut feeling" at the expense of logic. ### Where does the fear come from? [[Society conditions a fear of making wrong decisions]]. For some reason I've grown up feeling that a mistake I make will have vast and long-term consequences. As such I feel an ingrained need to make the "perfect" decision. However, according to [[The Planning Fallacy]], there is no such thing as a perfect plan because this would entail us having all the information - which can only happen once we go down the path we're contemplating in the first place. Another source of angst, which was put nicely by someone on [reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/thelastpsychiatrist/comments/8x4y07/comment/e24ax95/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), is that I don't have a "preferred future" to aim at, while also not having an "unbearable present" to escape from. This person also mentions that he has a low sensitivity to both positive and negative emotion - I think I am like this too. I don't get stressed/worried easily, and most "good things" I find superficial. ## Taking a step back The classic advice when deciding between multiple options is to do a Pros and Cons list. This inherently means optimizing for something and against something else, in order to get the decision that is the "best". But if I take a step back - what does it even mean to get the decision "as right as possible"? What is a right decision and what is a wrong decision? What are we optimizing for and against? "Should I study in the US or in Australia?" "Should I go back to the IDF or maybe enlist in the British Armed Forces?" "Should I study full-time or part-time while working?" There is no actual "correct" answer here; meaning all decisions are purely subjective and *depend entirely on what you want to achieve*. "Correct" only means whatever is the most aligned with whatever measurement we're using to navigate the world, which is what we value most, which is in other words - our values. The "best" decision therefore is that which is **most aligned with our values**. Also, as put nicely [in this article](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/09/how-do-i-overcome-chronic-indecision-and-make-progress-with-my-life), "We make choices for our future selves, but our choices _make_ our future selves". Meaning, the choices we make now will then shape who we are later on, and who we are later on may consider different things to be pros and cons - things we just don't know right now. This is essentially what is meant by [[#Course-Correct Over Time]] ## Solutions ### Research You begin with by using a decision making system. When it comes to life-choices, I think [[Rational Analysis]] is best. At the end, if I'm faced with a number of different options that look similar, I can go through the process a couple more times. But Thomas Edison says not to research too much: "I regard it as a criminal waste of time to go through the slow and painful ordeal of ascertaining things for one’s self if these same things have already been ascertained and made available by others." The problem here is how do you know if others' decisions are of good qulity? ### Course-Correct Over Time To make the best decision we need the most amount of information. Therefore, the solution is to choose a path, make mistakes (which is synonymous with gaining information) and course-correct over time. This entails making mistakes which we can learn from, but as explained above, I've grown up fearing to make mistakes. But mistakes aren't necessarily a bad thing. [This guy put it nicely](https://www.reddit.com/r/thelastpsychiatrist/comments/8x4y07/comment/e268zvi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3): "Allow yourself to make enough mistakes, and you will end up so smart that you can eventually feel confident that any decision you make will be for the best. Also, fuck dude, mistakes can make for a lot of happy accidents." Dr. K also [gave a nice metaphor](https://youtu.be/obJVJSPGMnQ?t=1218) - People who try to make the best decision are playing without trying to get hit at all (being perfect from day 1). What's more reliable is to find some healing-pots, take the damage, heal up and keep going. ### Optimize for the Path of Least Regret Continuing the above idea, when it comes to navigating the terrain of life, by what metrics are we to optimize for? I think a good metric is [[Thought - Optimizing for fewest regrets]]. ### Anti-Premature Optimization [[Person - Paul Graham]] explains [here](http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html) that "Instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations." In the article he uses the graduation speech as an example and notes the usual strategy: "In the graduation-speech approach, you decide where you want to be in twenty years, and then ask: what should I do now to get there?" This is what I have been doing and it hasn't being working that well. I've been focusing heavily on [[Premature Optimization]]. Paul then recommends the following: "I propose instead that you don't commit to anything in the future, but just look at the options available now, and choose those that will give you the most promising range of options afterward." In other words, the best course of action would be to go in whatever direction gives you the most options down the rode to course-correct over time. ### Picking harder problems In [this article](http://www.paulgraham.com/wealth.html#f3n) Paul Graham explains that a method of succeeding in making startups is to pick harder problems as they are even harder for bigger (and consequently, slower) companies to follow: "Start by picking a hard problem, and then at every decision point, take the harder choice." "This is a good plan for life in general. If you have two choices, choose the harder. If you're trying to decide whether to go out running or sit home and watch TV, go running. Probably the reason this trick works so well is that when you have two choices and one is harder, the only reason you're even considering the other is laziness. You know in the back of your mind what's the right thing to do, and this trick merely forces you to acknowledge it." ### Using Mental Models [[Mental Models]] ### First Principles Thinking [[First Principles Thinking]] ### Facing fears If you can't make decisions, it is probably because you are afraid of something. Figure out what you're afraid of. What will you do if your fear comes to pass? I'm afraid of making a decision I'll regret. I'm afraid of getting sucked up in the career ladder and just being on autopilot and before you know it I'm old and stuck in a company and didn't do anything with my life except stay in my little job. I'm afraid of waking up knowing I wasted my life away, and I'm afraid I will never know what [[Questions to help find meaning|brings me meaning]] and that I am stuck like this. Okay. Check out these words of wisdom from [[Thought - Optimizing for fewest regrets]] - "I've come to prefer to regret the things I've actually done, not the things I've not done..." ### Extras [[2022-06-26_Sun]] - Hey, check out the [[Meeting - 2022-06-25 0836|meeting I had with Meron yesterday]]. I'm adopting this and already feel better about making decisions. Hell, it even gives me the feeling of wanting to make decisions! [[2023-10-04_Wed]] - Found this in an old journal of mine, adding here. [[Decision Making - Ben Avram Analysis]] *** ## Footnotes Resources - [reddit - r/thelastpsychiatrist](https://www.reddit.com/r/thelastpsychiatrist/comments/8x4y07/inability_to_make_decisions/) - [Foreseeable Future](https://www.aforeseeablefuture.com/) - [How do I overcome chronic indecision and make progress with my life?](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/09/how-do-i-overcome-chronic-indecision-and-make-progress-with-my-life) - [Farnam Street - How to Make Smart Decisions Without Getting Lucky](https://fs.blog/smart-decisions/)